Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

McDonald’s Warns Corporate Employees To Beware Emails From Sender Purporting To Be Grimace

CHICAGO—Telling staff never to click on any suspicious communications with blurred purple images, McDonald’s officials reportedly warned corporate employees Friday to beware any emails from senders purporting to be Grimace. “Grimace will never ask you for your credit card number, social security card, or blood type, so please do not follow any dubious links no […]

The post McDonald’s Warns Corporate Employees To Beware Emails From Sender Purporting To Be Grimace appeared first on The Onion.

Trump Invokes Defense Production Act To Boost Weapons Manufacturing

President Trump invoked the Defense Production Act to jumpstart the manufacture of munitions, an attempt to replenish weapon stockpiles that have been severely depleted in America’s war with Iran. What do you think?

The post Trump Invokes Defense Production Act To Boost Weapons Manufacturing appeared first on The Onion.

PGA Announces All Caddies Must Be Leashed

The post PGA Announces All Caddies Must Be Leashed appeared first on The Onion.

JD Vance To Personally Care For Chickens At Naval Observatory

JD Vance has commissioned a custom chicken coop to be installed at the official Vice Presidential residence at the U.S. Naval Observatory, where he will personally attend to the birds. What do you think?

The post JD Vance To Personally Care For Chickens At Naval Observatory appeared first on The Onion.

Trump Warns U.S. Will No Longer Protect G7 From Threat Of Jigsaw

ÉVIAN-LES-BAINS, FRANCE—Claiming their failure to help America would now leave the nations incredibly vulnerable to the danger of shotgun carousels, President Donald Trump warned the G7 summit this week that the U.S. will no longer protect them from the threat of the serial killer Jigsaw. “We asked you all for support, and you didn’t listen, […]

The post Trump Warns U.S. Will No Longer Protect G7 From Threat Of Jigsaw appeared first on The Onion.