LOS ANGELES—In a discovery many have hailed as a milestone in the field, a new study published Friday by scientists at the University of California, Los Angeles, found that humans likely developed opposable thumbs to signal “all good” to their buddies after falling off the roof. “New evidence suggests hominids first evolved this movable appendage […]

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WASHINGTON—Whimpering at the butter knife clutched in his brother’s hand, a wincing Donald Trump Jr. reportedly shouted “Do it!” Wednesday as he and Eric Trump prepared to cut off their hair to avoid a U.S. military draft. “Come on, Eric, do it quick, before I change my mind,” said Donald Jr., who squeezed his eyes […]

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The post Horse Cast As Horse In Live Action ‘Tangled’ Remake appeared first on The Onion.

You bring a bunch of kittens into this world, you gotta do what’s right.

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James Talarico is the Democratic nominee for U.S. Senate in Texas. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the rising star.  Age: Whippersnapper Inspirational Backstory: Survived several hours talking to Joe Rogan Religion: Oh yeah, lots of that Key Endorsements: God (Presbyterian), God (Catholic), God (Jewish), and God (Sikh)   Level On Grant-Rogers Folksiness […]

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