MONTREAL—Admitting that he initially felt a little shy about storing his toiletries there, former Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau told reporters Friday that he was finally comfortable enough to keep an extra jar of his brown face paint at girlfriend Katy Perry’s house. “Things have gotten pretty serious between us, and having my own race […]

The post Justin Trudeau Finally Comfortable Enough To Keep Brown Face Paint At Katy Perry’s appeared first on The Onion.

James Talarico is the Democratic nominee for U.S. Senate in Texas. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the rising star.  Age: Whippersnapper Inspirational Backstory: Survived several hours talking to Joe Rogan Religion: Oh yeah, lots of that Key Endorsements: God (Presbyterian), God (Catholic), God (Jewish), and God (Sikh)   Level On Grant-Rogers Folksiness […]

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LOS ANGELES—In a discovery many have hailed as a milestone in the field, a new study published Friday by scientists at the University of California, Los Angeles, found that humans likely developed opposable thumbs to signal “all good” to their buddies after falling off the roof. “New evidence suggests hominids first evolved this movable appendage […]

The post Study: Humans Evolved Opposable Thumbs To Signal ‘All Good’ To Buddies After Falling Off Roof appeared first on The Onion.

You bring a bunch of kittens into this world, you gotta do what’s right.

The post Oreo and Binx appeared first on The Onion.

The post Horse Cast As Horse In Live Action ‘Tangled’ Remake appeared first on The Onion.