Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Trump Announces $175 Billion Rosie O’Donnell Defense System

WASHINGTON—In a sudden escalation of his feud with the American-born, Ireland-based former talk show host, President Donald Trump announced Monday he had signed an executive order allocating $175 billion to build an anti–Rosie O’Donnell defense system across the entire United States. “We’re building the greatest Rosie defense network the world has ever seen,” said Trump, […]

The post Trump Announces $175 Billion Rosie O’Donnell Defense System appeared first on The Onion.

Trump Urges Supporters To Move On From Societal Disdain For Pedophilia 

WASHINGTON—Facing mounting backlash from his MAGA base over his perceived ties to the Jeffrey Epstein case, President Donald Trump reportedly encouraged his supporters Monday to simply move on from society’s widespread disdain for pedophilia. “It’s time to just accept that some people like having sex with kids and focus on the fantastic things we’re doing […]

The post Trump Urges Supporters To Move On From Societal Disdain For Pedophilia  appeared first on The Onion.

Mattel Introduces First Barbie With Diabetes

Mattel introduced its first Barbie representing a person with Type 1 diabetes, part of a wider effort from the toy maker to increase inclusivity among its dolls. What do you think?

The post Mattel Introduces First Barbie With Diabetes appeared first on The Onion.

Artist Profile: Haim

Haim will begin touring this fall to promote I Quit, their fourth studio album. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the band. Genre: 2013 Members: Kevin, Joe, and Nick Jonas Attitude: Starting to get mad Awards: 4 NME awards, 1 Brit award, and 1 J.D. Power Award for Best Compact Car Pre-Show […]

The post Artist Profile: Haim appeared first on The Onion.

Fantastic Displacement Opportunity

This reasonably priced two-bedroom offers homebuyers the exciting chance to help push out the working-class residents who have called the neighborhood home for generations.

The post Fantastic Displacement Opportunity appeared first on The Onion.