Every year, dozens are killed and many more injured in the avalanches that surge down mountains nationwide. Here’s ways to avoid an untimely death by snow. Check God’s Wrath Level Before Heading Out: If forecasts indicate He’s angry with you, it’s best to stay in. Get Ready: To help ensure you are prepared, try getting […]

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In Kansas, 1,700 residents had their driver’s licenses invalidated for being transgender, with the law also invalidating birth certificates for those who updated their gender markers. What do you think?

The post Kansas Revokes 1,700 Licenses For Being Transgender appeared first on The Onion.

KALISPELL, MT—Presenting a united front in their carefully timed effort, friends and coworkers announced plans Monday to gang up on local depressed man Alberto Rivas right when he felt at his worst. “We’re all coordinating with each other to ensure that at the precise moment he thinks he’s hit rock bottom, things actually get even […]

The post Friends, Coworkers Announce Plan To Gang Up On Depressed Man Right When He Feels Worst appeared first on The Onion.

The post ‘Good Oscars, Good Oscars,’ Repeat Nominees In Forced Post-Ceremony Handshake Line appeared first on The Onion.

LOS ANGELES—Waving his arms wildly over his head and yelling as part of an apparent effort to attract attention, actor Joel Edgerton was reportedly going nuts Sunday in hopes of getting on the Academy Awards jumbotron. “Over here, over here!” said the 51-year-old Train Dreams star, who leapt from his seat and cried out upon spotting a […]

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