Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

A Roof With All The Points

This three-bedroom home on a tree-lined street has a roof with all the pointy parts you’d hope to have in a roof. No level surface up here! It’s all slopes and slants that lead to various points. Reference #64300

The post A Roof With All The Points appeared first on The Onion.

3-Year-Old Willing To Die For Bluey

BATON ROUGE, LA—Revealing that he was prepared to become a martyr for the popular cartoon dog from Australia, local 3-year-old Owen Fulks announced this week that he was more than willing to die for Bluey. “It would be the greatest honor to lay down my life for Bluey,” said Fulks, pledging his eternal allegiance to the […]

The post 3-Year-Old Willing To Die For Bluey appeared first on The Onion.

Kylie Jenner Photographed Wearing Amulet Containing Imprisoned Timothée Chalamet

LOS ANGELES—Sparking rumors about the pair’s relationship as she stepped out with the new piece of eye-catching jewelry, media personality Kylie Jenner was photographed Friday wearing an amulet that reportedly contained an imprisoned Timothée Chalamet. “It’s official—Timothée’s soul has been sealed inside that glowing pendant around her neck,” said an insider source, who hinted that the […]

The post Kylie Jenner Photographed Wearing Amulet Containing Imprisoned Timothée Chalamet appeared first on The Onion.

‘It’s My Hand’: Muppets Puppeteer On How He Brings Kermit To Life

The post ‘It’s My Hand’: Muppets Puppeteer On How He Brings Kermit To Life appeared first on The Onion.

Biggest Revelations From The Epstein Files

In compliance with the Epstein Files Transparency Act, the Justice Department has released more than 3 million documents related to the late child sex offender’s prosecution. The Onion shares the biggest revelations.  Jeffrey Epstein signed all his emails “The Infamous Pedophile Jeff” Digital cameras always have that nostalgic feel Little Saint James gets kind of […]

The post Biggest Revelations From The Epstein Files appeared first on The Onion.