WASHINGTON—In an effort to protect visitors to the violently contested territories south of the U.S. border, the State Department advised American tourists on Monday to temporarily avoid shootouts with Mexican drug cartels. “While at this time, we see no need for American travelers to cancel their vacations, we do strongly recommend that they refrain from […]

The post U.S. Tourists Advised To Temporarily Avoid Shootouts With Mexican Drug Cartels appeared first on The Onion.

The post Trump Invites Caucasian Half Of Alysa Liu To Visit White House appeared first on The Onion.

If passed into law, the Safeguard American Voter Eligibility Act will create new barriers to voting in federal elections by requiring documentation of citizenship to register and imposing strict photo-identification rules at polling places. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the SAVE America Act. Q: What is the goal of the bill? […]

The post What To Know About The SAVE America Act appeared first on The Onion.

NEW YORK—In an unprecedented effort to “pour gas on the fire” and grow the popularity of the league, NHL officials announced Monday that it was launching a new $800 marketing campaign in a major push to attract new fans. “Move over, NFL and NBA, because we are pulling out all the stops to make the […]

The post NHL Launches $800 Marketing Campaign In Major Push To Attract New Fans appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Saying his advocacy for consuming animal products had painted a target on his back, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. claimed Monday that anti-protein extremists had left a head of lettuce on his doorstep. “Yesterday morning when my wife went out to get the paper, she discovered a gruesome threat left by […]

The post RFK Jr. Claims Anti-Protein Extremists Left Head Of Lettuce On His Doorstep appeared first on The Onion.