Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

At No Point While Rewatching Every ‘Planet Of The Apes’ Does It Occur To Man He Might Be Depressed

GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Despite ample opportunity for the troubling realization to occur to him in the long hours he spent staring at his laptop, sources reported Tuesday that local man Aaron Semple at no point recognized during his recent rewatching of every Planet Of The Apes film that he might, in fact, be depressed. “I thought […]

The post At No Point While Rewatching Every ‘Planet Of The Apes’ Does It Occur To Man He Might Be Depressed appeared first on The Onion.

Toxic Masculinity Brought To Jigsaw Puzzle

The post Toxic Masculinity Brought To Jigsaw Puzzle appeared first on The Onion.

Tyra Banks Says Taking Abuse From Tyra Banks Simply Reflective Of How The Industry Works

SYDNEY—Responding to backlash following the release of Netflix’s America’s Next Top Model docuseries, supermodel and television personality Tyra Banks stated Tuesday that taking abuse from Tyra Banks is simply how the modeling industry works. “You can ask hundreds of models around the world, and they’ll all tell you that getting emotionally abused by Tyra Banks […]

The post Tyra Banks Says Taking Abuse From Tyra Banks Simply Reflective Of How The Industry Works appeared first on The Onion.

Speechwriters Struggling To Spin List Of Ugly Women Trump Gave Them Into SOTU Address

The post Speechwriters Struggling To Spin List Of Ugly Women Trump Gave Them Into SOTU Address appeared first on The Onion.

U.S. Populace Appoints Designated Survivor

The post U.S. Populace Appoints Designated Survivor appeared first on The Onion.