Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Study: Mosquitos More Attracted To People Branded With Mosquito God’s Rune Of Punishment

NEW YORK CITY—Touting the discovery as a breakthrough in understanding the behavioral patterns of the insects, Rockefeller University researchers published a study Friday revealing that mosquitos are more attracted to people branded with the Mosquito God’s rune of punishment. “After several rounds of clinical trials with a control group, we can confirm that anyone marked […]

The post Study: Mosquitos More Attracted To People Branded With Mosquito God’s Rune Of Punishment appeared first on The Onion.

World’s Oldest Soccer Ball On Display In Miami

The oldest soccer ball in the world, believed to be 500 years old, will be on display for the first time in the United States, traveling all the way to Miami from Scotland. What do you think?

The post World’s Oldest Soccer Ball On Display In Miami appeared first on The Onion.

Travis Kelce Utters 2 Syllables Of Wedding Venue Name Before Tranq Dart Strikes Neck

The post Travis Kelce Utters 2 Syllables Of Wedding Venue Name Before Tranq Dart Strikes Neck appeared first on The Onion.

Political Profile: Ken Paxton 

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton (R) will be facing James Talarico (D) in the race for a U.S. Senate seat this November. Here’s everything you need to know about the Republican candidate. Angle Of Smirk: 34 degrees Signature Style: Rushing to put belt back on Campaign Slogan: “Come Alone With Small, Unmarked Bills” Position On […]

The post Political Profile: Ken Paxton  appeared first on The Onion.

Boy Quietly Turns All Toys Toward Wall After Watching ‘Toy Story’ For First Time

The post Boy Quietly Turns All Toys Toward Wall After Watching ‘Toy Story’ For First Time appeared first on The Onion.