Well, well, well, looks like little Molly Jenkins finally had enough of the big city and came crawling back to the small-town boy she thought she was too good for, Greg Phipps, in a ceremony at St. Matthew’s Church on Sunday.

The post Molly Jenkins and Greg Phipps appeared first on The Onion.

LEAWOOD, KS—Suffering from a severe delusion that he shared an intimate connection with the pop superstar, local parasocial fan Travis Kelce reportedly continued to insist Wednesday that he was in a real relationship with Taylor Swift. “For the past two years, Travis has followed her across the globe, calling himself her boyfriend and deluding himself into […]

The post Parasocial Fan Believes He In Real Relationship With Taylor Swift appeared first on The Onion.

Hungary’s 1,000‑year‑old Pannonhalma Archabbey is scrambling to disinfect and preserve tens of thousands of historic books from a destructive beetle infestation that could wipe out centuries of history. What do you think?

The post Beetle Infestation Threatens Hungary’s Oldest Library appeared first on The Onion.

Like every parent, I want my kids to be safe. I know that for my young daughter and son to grow and thrive, they need to feel secure in their surroundings. But with the way people coddle their children these days, I fear we’re raising a generation that won’t be able to handle life’s basic […]

The post If I Take A Bullet For My Child, How Will They Learn To Take Bullets Themselves? appeared first on The Onion.

Marlene Audney, 83, finally found an opportunity to slip away quietly Monday when her daughter briefly left her hospice room to fetch a snack from the vending machine.

The post Marlene Audney appeared first on The Onion.