CHICAGO—Having confirmed the shocking development with numerous top-level sources, a depressed Shams Charania broke the news Thursday that he has absolutely no one. “Per multiple industry insiders, I can confirm that I’ve driven away everyone who ever cared about me in this world, and now I’m all alone with my miserable self,” the dejected, unshaven NBA […]

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Your mother, 67, is fine, but this is just a reminder that she could go at any moment. Give her a call.

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A recent poll found that only 66% of Americans claim that a democratically elected government is important to the United States’ national identity, with those aged 18-29 reporting the lowest belief in U.S. democracy’s centrality at only 51%. What do you think?

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