Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Kevin Durant Terrified After Encountering Bobblehead Of Self

HOUSTON—Paralyzed with fear at the unexpected sight of the miniature figurine, Houston Rockets forward Kevin Durant reportedly screamed in terror Tuesday after unexpectedly coming face-to-face with a bobblehead version of himself. “Who…who are—what do you want from me?” said the visibly trembling 15-time all-star, who nervously backed away from the tiny novelty doppelgänger as it […]

The post Kevin Durant Terrified After Encountering Bobblehead Of Self appeared first on The Onion.

Kim Jong Un Can’t Believe Daughter Already Executing Boys

PYONGYANG—Tears welling in his eyes as he remarked upon how quickly things change, North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un reportedly told aides Wednesday he couldn’t believe his daughter Kim Ju Ae was already old enough to be executing boys. “It’s incredible to think that just a few years ago, she barely knew the words […]

The post Kim Jong Un Can’t Believe Daughter Already Executing Boys appeared first on The Onion.

Pentagon Cuts Ties With Anthropic Over AI Safeguards

President Trump blacklisted AI company Anthropic after it rebuffed the Pentagon’s demands to lift all safeguards on the military’s use of its model due to its concerns about the use of AI for mass domestic surveillance and the development of weapons that fire without human involvement. What do you think?

The post Pentagon Cuts Ties With Anthropic Over AI Safeguards appeared first on The Onion.

Adam Lazarus and Hayden Ortega

Ortega was married off to Lazarus in a peacekeeping deal aimed at easing tensions between Indianapolis and Cincinnati.

The post Adam Lazarus and Hayden Ortega appeared first on The Onion.

Best Get-Laid Plan

The post Best Get-Laid Plan appeared first on The Onion.