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U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi’s handling of the Epstein files has divided MAGA world, with many Trump supporters calling on the president to fire her. The Onion shares everything you need to know about Bondi. Ethnicity: Floridian American Political Party: Democratic (Until 2010) Republican (2010-2026) National Front For Making America Great (2026-) Preferred Debate Style: […]

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LEAWOOD, KS—Suffering from a severe delusion that he shared an intimate connection with the pop superstar, local parasocial fan Travis Kelce reportedly continued to insist Wednesday that he was in a real relationship with Taylor Swift. “For the past two years, Travis has followed her across the globe, calling himself her boyfriend and deluding himself into […]

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DHARAMSHALA, INDIA—Calling the trend an alarming indicator of the global economy’s fragile state, a report released Thursday by the Tibetan Institute for Economics revealed that the rising cost of living was forcing more Buddhists to continue working years into reincarnation. “Unfortunately, increased housing, food, and healthcare expenses require many Buddhists to hold down a job long […]

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