California banned the use of “sell by” labels on food packaging in an effort to cut down on food waste caused by consumers misinterpreting its meaning. What do you think?

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While permanent, the visible blotch is strictly cosmetic and in no way affects this home’s ability to shelter you and your family. Reference #259348

The post Just A Birthmark appeared first on The Onion.

BLOOMINGTON, IL—Amid a campaign aimed at improving the aesthetics of previously neglected public spaces, the team behind a new beautification initiative admitted Thursday to feeling impeded by the city’s commitment to using only local artists. “Seeing the quality of some of these pieces, I’m beginning to worry that we vastly over-estimated the amount of artistic talent […]

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INDIANAPOLIS—Saying whatever she had to say to get through the PBS shoot as quickly as possible, hungover Antiques Roadshow expert Katrina Delaney reportedly pulled another appraisal out of her ass Wednesday morning. “Yeah, you can tell from the, uh, baroque cornices that it’s probably from the Ming dynasty,” the 48-year-old decorative arts specialist said of the […]

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BURBANK, CA—Tunneling upward out of the darkness where they had lain in wait for13 years, the latest brood of Disney child stars reportedly emerged from the ground Monday, filling the air with their mindless droning.  Thousands of spunky young actors, part of the child performer population known as Brood D, were spotted bursting out of […]

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