Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

RFK Jr. Greets Trick-Or-Treaters With Big Bowl Of Ape Glands

WASHINGTON—Asking the children to please just take one since he had to acquire the organs from a “sketchy dealer” in West Virginia, Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reportedly celebrated Halloween Friday by greeting trick-or-treaters with a big bowl of ape glands. “Come and get a king-sized gibbon pituitary,” Kennedy said while gesturing to the […]

The post RFK Jr. Greets Trick-Or-Treaters With Big Bowl Of Ape Glands appeared first on The Onion.

Mike McDaniel Coaches Game Lying Facedown On Sideline

The post Mike McDaniel Coaches Game Lying Facedown On Sideline appeared first on The Onion.

Nvidia Becomes First $5 Trillion Company

Nvidia became the first company to hit a $5 trillion market capitalization, putting it on par with the GDP of countries like Germany, despite many warning of a possible AI bubble. What do you think?

The post Nvidia Becomes First $5 Trillion Company appeared first on The Onion.

China Agrees To Purchase 11 U.S. Soybeans 

SEOUL—In a historic trade agreement that President Donald Trump touted as a major win for an American farmer, China reportedly agreed Thursday to purchase 11 U.S. soybeans. “I am extremely honored that President Xi has authorized China to begin the purchase of this unprecedented amount of American-grown soybeans—not merely nine or 10 beans, but 11 […]

The post China Agrees To Purchase 11 U.S. Soybeans  appeared first on The Onion.

Parents Ask Detained Nanny If She’s Still Free To Watch Kids Friday

CHICAGO—Hoping to lock down childcare so they could get out of the house for a fun date night this week, area parents Mitchell and Jessica Ashe reportedly asked their freshly ICE-detained nanny, Maria Gutiérrez, if she’d still be free to watch their kids on Friday. “Hey, Maria! We know you have a lot on your […]

The post Parents Ask Detained Nanny If She’s Still Free To Watch Kids Friday appeared first on The Onion.