Reading List
The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.
Prince Andrew Stripped Of Royal Computer Privileges
LONDON—In a stunning reversal of fortune for the controversy-plagued younger brother of King Charles III, Buckingham Palace announced Friday that the former Prince Andrew Mountbatten Windsor has been stripped of his royal computer privileges. “Due to serious lapses in judgment by Mr. Mountbatten Windsor, His Majesty King Charles III has today initiated a formal process […]
The post Prince Andrew Stripped Of Royal Computer Privileges appeared first on The Onion.
Neighbors Always Knew Teen Gunman Was Evil And Did Nothing Because They Are Evil Too
The post Neighbors Always Knew Teen Gunman Was Evil And Did Nothing Because They Are Evil Too appeared first on The Onion.
24-Hour Horror Movie Marathon Attended With Other Failures
MILWAUKEE—Expressing enthusiasm about the programming and atmosphere at the Avalon Theater’s all-night screening, local man Dan Wittman reportedly attended a 24-hour Scare-O-Rama horror marathon this week alongside dozens of other failures. “It’s cool that they don’t just focus on the old stuff—there’s a nice mix of ’80s and ’90s cult classics and even some international […]
The post 24-Hour Horror Movie Marathon Attended With Other Failures appeared first on The Onion.
RFK Jr. Greets Trick-Or-Treaters With Big Bowl Of Ape Glands
WASHINGTON—Asking the children to please just take one since he had to acquire the organs from a “sketchy dealer” in West Virginia, Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reportedly celebrated Halloween Friday by greeting trick-or-treaters with a big bowl of ape glands. “Come and get a king-sized gibbon pituitary,” Kennedy said while gesturing to the […]
The post RFK Jr. Greets Trick-Or-Treaters With Big Bowl Of Ape Glands appeared first on The Onion.
Cursed Videotape Kills Anyone Who Swallows It Whole
The post Cursed Videotape Kills Anyone Who Swallows It Whole appeared first on The Onion.