Reading List
The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.
Vasectomy Hot-Wired
LONG BEACH, CA—Wiping sweat from his brow as he clenched a scalpel in his mouth, a man reportedly hot-wired a vasectomy Friday while his accomplice served as lookout. “I’ve got to get in and get out without anyone noticing,” said the unidentified man, whose hands shook as he fumbled with the vas deferens, causing sparks to […]
The post Vasectomy Hot-Wired appeared first on The Onion.
Studios Enter Bidding War Over Napkin Stephen King Wrote ‘Ghoul’ On
LOS ANGELES—Anticipating the project could be the biggest horror hit of the decade, film studios were reportedly locked in a bidding war Friday over a napkin Stephen King had written the word “Ghoul” on. “It only took him two weeks to write, but it’s incredible—it’s an entire fleshed-out world,” said an insider source, who confirmed that […]
The post Studios Enter Bidding War Over Napkin Stephen King Wrote ‘Ghoul’ On appeared first on The Onion.
Pizza’s Been Delivered Here Before
Pizzas from both large chains and local restaurants have successfully found their way to this three-bedroom, two-bath home, so that much is set. Reference #24350
The post Pizza’s Been Delivered Here Before appeared first on The Onion.
Trump Writes Netanyahu Strongly Worded Check
The post Trump Writes Netanyahu Strongly Worded Check appeared first on The Onion.
NBA Reaffirms Commitment To Gamblers Only Ruining Their Lives Legally
NEW YORK—Following a series of illicit betting scandals that have sent shock waves through the league, the National Basketball Association issued a statement Monday reaffirming its commitment to gamblers only ruining their lives in ways that are completely legal. “When it comes to gambling, the NBA wants to ensure basketball fans are only blowing up […]
The post NBA Reaffirms Commitment To Gamblers Only Ruining Their Lives Legally appeared first on The Onion.