Democratic socialist Zohran Mamdani made history Tuesday night when he was elected the first Muslim mayor of New York City. The Onion fact-checks the claims being made about Mamdani. Claim: Mamdani is a nepo baby. True: Mamdani is the eldest son of Bill de Blasio and Ed Koch. Claim: Mamdani will destroy New York City. […]

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SACRAMENTO, CA—Passing the Democrat-backed initiative with a resounding 60% of the vote, Californians overwhelmingly approved a ballot measure this week to redraw the cartoon character Garfield. “The people of California have spoken, and they want their funny pages to have an obese orange tabby cat who reflects the character design sensibilities our Founding Fathers stood […]

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The post Barry Bonds Reveals Asterisk Has Spread Throughout Body appeared first on The Onion.

Ever feel like you have a “special connection” with an artist? Like if the two of you could only meet, you would be instant BFFs? This phenomenon is what experts call a parasocial relationship. On the surface, it might sound harmless, but the truth is that parasocial relationships have been shown to make people lonelier […]

The post I Bet Pedro Pascal Hates Parasocial Relationships appeared first on The Onion.

BLOOMFIELD HILLS, MI—In what they described as a collaborative effort to share resources and information in defense of U.S. territory, Pentagon officials confirmed Monday that all six branches of the armed forces were present at the arrest of undocumented nanny Paola Soto. “It was like the invasion of Normandy the way every American military division descended […]

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