Reading List
The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.
‘Shut Up, Mother! Shut Up!’ Pleads George W. Bush To Dick Cheney Skeleton Dressed In Suit
CRAWFORD, TX—Lashing out at the overbearing former vice president seated motionless in a rocking chair by the attic window, a distraught George W. Bush shouted, “Shut up, Mother! Shut up!” at the skeleton of Dick Cheney dressed in a suit, sources confirmed Friday. “I’m not your little boy anymore, Mother, so why must you constantly […]
The post ‘Shut Up, Mother! Shut Up!’ Pleads George W. Bush To Dick Cheney Skeleton Dressed In Suit appeared first on The Onion.
Hannah Pike
Hannah Pike, 27, died Monday after learning it was indeed that kind of cult.
The post Hannah Pike appeared first on The Onion.
‘Wicked’ Director Reveals Sequel Will Pick Up Right Where First Branded Tumbler Left Off
LOS ANGELES—Preparing fans to jump back into the beloved world of Oz, Wicked: For Good director Jon M. Chu revealed this week that the upcoming movie would pick up right where the first branded tumbler left off. “Wicked part two is a seamless continuation of the original Target-exclusive stainless steel tumbler with detachable straw,” said […]
The post ‘Wicked’ Director Reveals Sequel Will Pick Up Right Where First Branded Tumbler Left Off appeared first on The Onion.
Tom Brady Clones Dog
Tom Brady revealed that he and his family used non-invasive technology to create a clone of their beloved dog after the original pet passed away. What do you think?
The post Tom Brady Clones Dog appeared first on The Onion.
DHS: ‘Daycare Workers Have Walked Freely in This Country For Far Too Long’
WASHINGTON—Reaffirming the Trump administration’s promise to crack down on individuals providing supervision and instruction to youngsters across the United States, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem stated at a press conference Thursday that daycare workers have walked freely in this country for far too long. “Time and time again, we have allowed these people to watch […]
The post DHS: ‘Daycare Workers Have Walked Freely in This Country For Far Too Long’ appeared first on The Onion.