WASHINGTON—Dismissing the swashbuckling sci-fi romp as “a total hoax” amid growing scrutiny over his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, President Donald Trump made remarks Tuesday denying that he had written a 36-volume comic titled Don And Jeff: Time Pedophiles. Obtained last month by the House committee investigating the late financier and child sex trafficker, the Time […]

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So many musicians were hired for this pair’s lavish wedding band that a new instrument had to be invented called the harmoniaphone.

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BROCKTON, MA—Acknowledging that he doesn’t get the chance to say it that often, but emphasizing that it doesn’t make it any less true, the father of local resident Eric Flores reportedly called him Thursday night just to say he loves King Crimson. “Hey, champ, I wanted to drop you a line to tell you that I […]

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Sarah Carney, 64, died peacefully last weekend. In lieu of flowers, the family asks if you would mind picking up one of her legs and lifting her body together on the count of three.

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Japan deployed troops into its northern rural regions to combat a surge in bear attacks that has already killed a record 12 people since April, as experts link the crisis to climate change and rural depopulation. What do you think?

The post Japan Deploys Troops To Combat Deadly Bear Attacks appeared first on The Onion.