Longtime Justice Department employee Timothy Parsons, a legal staffer in the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Washington, D.C., was arrested and charged in a child pornography case and is facing federal criminal charges in Maryland. What do you think?

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Voting in local elections is key to democracy. The Onion shares tips for researching candidates on the ballot in your community.  First, learn the name of the town or city you live in, and ideally the state as well. Decide exactly how important it is to you that your vote is informed. Ensure your preferred […]

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NEW YORK—Jeopardizing the fate of what could be a landmark federal antitrust trial, U.S. prosecutors were reportedly unable to attend the Live Nation trial Friday after scalpers bought every ticket. “Ah, shit, I promised my daughter I was going to prosecute Live Nation for her birthday,” said David E. Dahlquist, a lawyer for the U.S. […]

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LONDON—Faced with continuing public outrage over the former prince’s ties to notorious pedophile Jeffrey Epstein, the British royal family on Friday quietly removed Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor’s popular line of salad dressings from stores. “For decades, British consumers have associated Andrew’s smiling face on bottles of Buckingham Balsamic and His Majesty’s Honey Mustard with the highest quality […]

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WASHINGTON—Having abandoned his pledge not to let construction interfere with the plane’s existing structure or aerodynamic design, President Donald Trump defended on Thursday his decision to add a “magnificent” neoclassical ballroom to Air Force One. Trump, who appeared dismissive of photos that showed an excavator ripping into the famed Boeing 747, told reporters that demolishing […]

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