Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Record Number Of Women Want To Leave U.S.

A record 40% of American women aged 15–44 say they would like to move abroad permanently, more than twice the share of men, due to a lack of faith in national institutions stemming from Donald Trump’s presidency and the overturning of Roe v. Wade. What do you think?

The post Record Number Of Women Want To Leave U.S. appeared first on The Onion.

Trump Imposes 100% Tax On Movies Where Slaves Escape

WASHINGTON—In an effort to bring an end to what he described as an anti-American trend in filmmaking, President Donald Trump signed an executive order Monday imposing a 100% tax on the profits of movies that depict people escaping from slavery. “For too long, liberal Hollywood has pushed its false narratives of unhappy slaves desiring freedom,” […]

The post Trump Imposes 100% Tax On Movies Where Slaves Escape appeared first on The Onion.

DNA Sequencing Reveals Hitler Was Type Of Fern

BATH, ENGLAND—Saying the discovery shed new light on the infamous German dictator’s life, University of Bath researchers revealed DNA sequencing Friday showing that Adolf Hitler was a type of fern. “After analyzing genetic material taken from Hitler’s bunker and comparing it with DNA from one of his known relatives, we’ve determined with 97% certainty that […]

The post DNA Sequencing Reveals Hitler Was Type Of Fern appeared first on The Onion.

SNAP Warns Recipients It Could Be Days Before Kidneys Regain Function

WASHINGTON—Urging low-income Americans to be patient as officials worked around the clock to restore normal operation, the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program issued a statement Friday warning recipients that it could take days before their kidneys regained function. “As staff are reinstated and payments begin to roll out, please expect delays in filtering out impurities in […]

The post SNAP Warns Recipients It Could Be Days Before Kidneys Regain Function appeared first on The Onion.

Federal Hemp Ban Threatens Local Guy’s Whole Deal 

WASHINGTON—Roundly criticizing the provision to outlaw many hemp products that was included in the bill to reopen the government, industry leaders warned Friday that the federal hemp ban threatened the overall identity of Evan Brucker, 32, a local guy whose whole deal pretty much begins and ends with hemp. “Congress may claim the provision only […]

The post Federal Hemp Ban Threatens Local Guy’s Whole Deal  appeared first on The Onion.