Reading List
The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.
Trump Announces 5,000% Increase In All Numbers
WASHINGTON—Touting his latest executive order as a historic win for the U.S. economy, President Donald Trump announced Friday that he was mandating a 5,000% increase in all numbers nationwide. “Effective immediately, 100 will now be 5,100 and—I’m reading off the official statistics from my people—500 will be 25,500,” said Trump, speaking from the Oval Office […]
The post Trump Announces 5,000% Increase In All Numbers appeared first on The Onion.
Lorde Requiring All Concertgoers To Stash Boyfriends In Locked Pouch
CHICAGO—In a move making her the latest performer to join the distraction-free trend, New Zealand singer-songwriter Lorde confirmed Friday that she was now requiring all concertgoers to stash their boyfriends in locked pouches during her shows. “I understand wanting to share the experience, but I think a live performance is more special when everyone puts their […]
The post Lorde Requiring All Concertgoers To Stash Boyfriends In Locked Pouch appeared first on The Onion.
Pete Hegseth Wakes Up At 3 P.M. With Dozen Missed Calls From The Hague
The post Pete Hegseth Wakes Up At 3 P.M. With Dozen Missed Calls From The Hague appeared first on The Onion.
Man Proudly Saves $8 On Pubic Hair Trimmer
The post Man Proudly Saves $8 On Pubic Hair Trimmer appeared first on The Onion.
Cory Booker Delivers Historic 25-Hour Wedding Vows
The post Cory Booker Delivers Historic 25-Hour Wedding Vows appeared first on The Onion.