The post The Top 100 Most Influential People, Locked In Our Oubliette. Not So Influential Now, Are You? appeared first on The Onion.

The Golden Globe Awards announced the addition of a new best podcast category, with the inaugural nominees avoiding podcasts that are controversial and politically charged. What do you think?

The post Golden Globes Introduces Best Podcast Category appeared first on The Onion.

Guests spent the evening wondering why, if Chase’s family is so loaded, there’s only one guy working behind the bar.

The post Harris Thompson and Brad Chase appeared first on The Onion.

NEW YORK—As part of what the telecommunications giant characterizes as an ongoing commitment to transparency, Verizon’s customer service line began informing users this week that their calls would be monitored for the company’s sadistic amusement. “By staying on the line, you consent to being roundly mocked by a boardroom of executives who cackle maniacally over […]

The post Customer Service Discloses Call Will Be Monitored For Sadistic Amusement appeared first on The Onion.

Well, this is super embarrassing. It looks like I must have gotten myself pretty turned around back there and totally missed My destination. I hate to ask, but I was hoping I could catch a ride back to Earth with you guys, because I somehow wound up returning to Mars by accident. I know, I […]

The post Can You Guys Come Pick Me Up? I Accidentally Returned To Mars appeared first on The Onion.