SAN FRANCISCO—Citing a right to keep their torsos sheathed in windproof synthetic fabrics, tech billionaires were reportedly threatening to flee California on Monday over a proposed statewide vest tax. “If the legislature passes this measure, you can bet that countless entrepreneurs and venture capitalists are going to pack their bags and move their gilet collections […]

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The Interior Department announced plans to replace a picturesque image of Glacier National Park on the 2026 “America the Beautiful” pass with President Trump’s face, prompting a lawsuit from an environmental group. What do you think?

The post Images Of National Parks Replaced With Trump’s Face On Annual Passes appeared first on The Onion.

NEW YORK—In an effort to bring greater transparency to the city’s public transit system, New York’s Metropolitan Transportation Authority released a statement Monday admitting that large parts of its subway map had been fabricated. “Despite the common belief that the map is an accurate representation of the nation’s largest subway system, it in fact depicts […]

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AKRON, OH—Using the icon of a sleigh to denote his unmistakable presence near a residence in northeastern Ohio, NORAD’s official tracking app confirmed that Santa Claus paid a visit to his former girlfriend’s house around 3 a.m. Wednesday. “With our state-of-the-art satellite technology, we can see that ol’ St. Nick parked his reindeer on the roof and […]

The post Santa Tracker Shows Sleigh Stopped For 40 Minutes Outside Old Girlfriend’s House appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—In response to her husband Vice President JD Vance beaming with excitement as she opened his Christmas gift to her, second lady Usha Vance reportedly forced a smile Thursday after unwrapping another Bible. “Oh, wow, another King James Bible, you shouldn’t have,” said Vance, placing the Christian religious text on a large stack of Old […]

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