Reading List
The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.
Rest Of Lakers Trying To Act Casual While LeBron James Spanks Bronny
LOS ANGELES—As they stared intently at their phones and pretended not to notice the steady rhythm of smacks echoing through the locker room, the Los Angeles Lakers were reportedly trying their best to act casual Tuesday while LeBron James spanked his son Bronny in full view of the team. “Wow, yikes, he’s really laying into […]
The post Rest Of Lakers Trying To Act Casual While LeBron James Spanks Bronny appeared first on The Onion.
ICE Agent Scores Easy Win By Deporting Own Family
CHICAGO—Saying he couldn’t remember the last time an immigration raid had been so convenient, fast, or fun, Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent Mark Hammond reportedly scored an easy win Monday when he successfully deported his own family. The 45-year-old ICE official told reporters he had “hit the jackpot” when he realized that because his wife […]
The post ICE Agent Scores Easy Win By Deporting Own Family appeared first on The Onion.
Mia Cutler and Xavier Carrasco
The happy couple wed Saturday in the presence of four loving guests and 176 indifferent ones.
The post Mia Cutler and Xavier Carrasco appeared first on The Onion.
Starbucks Reintroduces Tiers To Loyalty Program
Starbucks is reintroducing tiers to its loyalty program as part of a bid to entice consumers to visit more often, with the company claiming the current system doesn’t properly reward its most loyal customers. What do you think?
The post Starbucks Reintroduces Tiers To Loyalty Program appeared first on The Onion.
Pacers PA Announcer Just Muttering ‘Jesus Christ’ Over And Over
The post Pacers PA Announcer Just Muttering ‘Jesus Christ’ Over And Over appeared first on The Onion.