Defense Secretary Pete Hegeth’s time overseeing the nation’s largest governmental agency has proven contentious owing to frequent security leaks, norm violations, and attacks on journalists. The Onion sat down with the military veteran and former Fox News host to discuss his tenure so far. The Onion : Mr. Secretary, thank you for joining us. If you […]

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Starbucks is reintroducing tiers to its loyalty program as part of a bid to entice consumers to visit more often, with the company claiming the current system doesn’t properly reward its most loyal customers. What do you think?

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WASHINGTON—Insisting the terminated worker had violated the terms of her employment by leaking highly sensitive information, the White House announced Monday that longtime aide Sandra Wilton had been fired for telling Vice President JD Vance about an upcoming Super Bowl party. “It’s difficult to imagine how this employee believed it was acceptable to reveal details of the West Wing Super Bowl party to Vance despite being […]

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LOS ANGELES—Emphasizing the power of finally seeing themselves represented on screen, duos consisting of one tall man and one bald child publicly applauded the HBO series A Knight Of The Seven Kingdoms Monday. “As a man of above-average stature whose best friend happens to be a hairless child, it’s so meaningful to see stories like […]

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