In compliance with the Epstein Files Transparency Act, the Justice Department has released more than 3 million documents related to the late child sex offender’s prosecution. The Onion shares the biggest revelations.  Jeffrey Epstein signed all his emails “The Infamous Pedophile Jeff” Digital cameras always have that nostalgic feel Little Saint James gets kind of […]

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LOS ANGELES—Sparking rumors about the pair’s relationship as she stepped out with the new piece of eye-catching jewelry, media personality Kylie Jenner was photographed Friday wearing an amulet that reportedly contained an imprisoned Timothée Chalamet. “It’s official—Timothée’s soul has been sealed inside that glowing pendant around her neck,” said an insider source, who hinted that the […]

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The Chinese government blasted the Recording Academy’s decision to award the Dalai Lama his first Grammy, claiming the music industry award for an audiobook was used as “a tool for anti-China political manipulation.” What do you think?

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JACKSONVILLE, FL—Sighing in frustration as she turned another page devoid of sexual content, Lord Of The Rings reader Adrienne Heeren told reporters Wednesday that she couldn’t believe how long it was taking for Sam and Frodo to fuck. “Don’t get me wrong—I love a slow-burn, friends-to-lovers kind of thing, but I’m on the third book, and they […]

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