Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

OpenAI Introduces Premium Video Generator For White House Advisors Manipulating Trump

SAN FRANCISCO—Heralding what it called a “bold new age” in warping the mind of the nation’s elderly leader, OpenAI introduced a new premium video generator Thursday marketed toward White House advisors manipulating President Donald Trump. “Our new Stephen video generator is an easy, user-friendly text-to-video model that can create clips up to two minutes long […]

The post OpenAI Introduces Premium Video Generator For White House Advisors Manipulating Trump appeared first on The Onion.

Study: Bonobos Capable Of Human-Like Pretend Play

A study published in Science found that a bonobo named Kanzi could play along when researchers offered him invisible juice and grapes in a manner akin to a child’s make-believe tea party, concluding that the primate could imagine and track the nonexistent objects being manipulated. What do you think?

The post Study: Bonobos Capable Of Human-Like Pretend Play appeared first on The Onion.

Woman Worried She Not Living 90-Second Ad Break To The Fullest

WATERBURY, VT—Not wanting to squander the precious opportunity, local television viewer Amy Branson told reporters Tuesday that she was worried she was not living a 90-second ad break to the fullest. “There are so many drinks in the fridge and snacks in the pantry, and yet here I am just sitting on the sofa,” the […]

The post Woman Worried She Not Living 90-Second Ad Break To The Fullest appeared first on The Onion.

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Nicki Minaj

Rapper Nicki Minaj has aligned herself with MAGA, stating that she is President Trump’s “number one fan.” The Onion sat down with the artist to discuss music, politics, and the controversy she’s created. The Onion : During President Trump’s first term, you criticized his administration’s policy of separating families at the border. What changed? Minaj: My […]

The post The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Nicki Minaj appeared first on The Onion.

It’s Gray Time!

 Gray walls, gray floors, gray ceilings, gray fixtures, gray appliances, gray home inspector, gray Realtor, gray real estate lawyer, gray grass, gray life, gray Earth, gray eternity. $1,300,000. Reference #44439

The post It’s Gray Time! appeared first on The Onion.