The post Belichick Magnet appeared first on The Onion.

The post Object Of Decades-Long Emotional Affair Side-Hugged appeared first on The Onion.

The post Why Are We Wet? appeared first on The Onion.

This warm and beckoning glow is conveniently located just beyond your grasp, but if you run toward it you just might find the calming space you’ve always been looking for. Reference #228745

The post The Light appeared first on The Onion.

A memorial will be held Saturday for Barbara Stratton, 77, at which her remains will be raffled off to one lucky mourner.

The post Barbara Stratton appeared first on The Onion.