The U.S. and New Zealand are the only two countries in the world that allow direct-to-consumer prescription drug advertising. The Onion examines the pros and cons of pharmaceutical ads.  PRO Great way to learn about exciting new side effects Lets international tourists visiting U.S. know exactly what they’re in for Good reminder to not take […]

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SAN ANTONIO—Remarking upon the charmed existence he had led since changing his course in life, former illustrator Allan Mansour confirmed Friday that the universe had practically been stumbling over itself to reward him for his decision to stop making art. “Gosh, my bank account is full, my personal life is flourishing, I have the respect […]

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Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. claimed that a high-fat, low-carbohydrate diet, widely known as the keto diet, can cure certain psychiatric conditions including schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, citing a Harvard physician “Dr. Pollan” who doesn’t appear to exist. What do you think?

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NEW YORK—In a discovery that increased doubt about the popular diet trend, a study published Thursday by Columbia University researchers found that intermittent fasting was no more effective than conventional eating disorders. “While abstaining from food for several hours has gained far-reaching acceptance in recent years, the evidence suggests that it produces comparable results to […]

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MILAN—Rushing around the dormitory in order to conceal evidence of their recent activity, the dozens of athletes engaging in a raucous Olympic Village fuckfest Thursday were reportedly forced to fake having a Bible study session just as several members of the curling team entered the room. “Oh! Uh, hey there, we were just taking a […]

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