The post Trump Suffers Setback Unrelated To Child Rape appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Exhausted from repeated efforts to explain the most basic aspect of political power, an aide to President Trump nevertheless began wearily explaining for the fifth time Friday why he couldn’t pardon the former Prince Andrew. “I know Andrew is a good man who’s been treated terribly, but you remember when we learned a few minutes […]

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LONG BEACH, CA—Encouraging his child to put her language skills to good use, local father Paul Feldman urged his daughter Alice to show off her high school Spanish with a guy on the street speaking Spanish, sources confirmed Friday. “This is a great opportunity to show off that B+ you got in Señor Shapiro’s class,” said Feldman, assuring his […]

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BEVERLY HILLS, CA—Shifting uncomfortably in his chair and glancing around for the waiter, Formula One driver Lewis Hamilton was wondering if the fact his date kept describing her ex as “crazy” was a red flag, sources confirmed Friday. “She’s going on and on about all this allegedly insane stuff he’s said and done, but come […]

The post Lewis Hamilton Wondering If It Red Flag After Date Keeps Calling Ex ‘Crazy’ appeared first on The Onion.

A U.S. district judge ruled Buffalo Wild Wings can continue to call its popular menu item “boneless wings” even though they are “essentially chicken nuggets.” What do you think?

The post Buffalo Wild Wings Allowed To Continue Using ‘Boneless’ Chicken On Menu appeared first on The Onion.