Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Watchdog Group Downgrades U.S. From Democracy To Whatever Political System Lobsters Have

WASHINGTON—Describing the shift as a troubling indicator for the health of the nation’s system of governance, watchdog group Freedom House published a report Wednesday downgrading the United States from a democracy to whatever political system lobsters have. “Persistent executive overreach and erosion of civil liberties mean that America now looks less like a traditional federal […]

The post Watchdog Group Downgrades U.S. From Democracy To Whatever Political System Lobsters Have appeared first on The Onion.

Top Reasons For Leaving Summer Camp Early

The post Top Reasons For Leaving Summer Camp Early appeared first on The Onion.

Australia Admits All Those Animals Made Up

SYDNEY—Saying the ruse began as a harmless prank about the continent’s mammals having pouches, Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese admitted Tuesday that all those animals like wallabies, numbats, quokkas, and bandicoots were completely made up. “We just assumed everyone would have caught on by now, because these creatures are clearly imaginary,” said Albanese, adding that […]

The post Australia Admits All Those Animals Made Up appeared first on The Onion.

Corporation For Public Broadcasting To Shut Down

The Corporation for Public Broadcasting announced it will begin shuttering operations in response to President Trump signing a law which clawed back $1.1 billion in funding for public broadcasting. What do you think?

The post Corporation For Public Broadcasting To Shut Down appeared first on The Onion.

Scott Disick Warns Son About Genetic Predisposition To Loserism

LOS ANGELES—Coming down to the child’s eye level in a moment of vulnerability, Scott Disick reportedly had an emotional talk with his son Tuesday warning him about his genetic predisposition to hereditary loserism. “I need to be honest with you, bud—early-onset loserism runs in our family, and there’s a 50-50 chance that someday, you might […]

The post Scott Disick Warns Son About Genetic Predisposition To Loserism appeared first on The Onion.