CHANDLER, AZ—Noting that he had shown a lot of vulnerability by communicating his true feelings so explicitly, sources confirmed Thursday that an ex’s death threat proved how much he really cares. “When you two were together you often felt that he didn’t put in any effort, so it’s not really fair to turn around and complain about it now,” said those close […]

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Brad Reese, the grandson of the man who invented the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, is publicly criticizing The Hershey Company, accusing the candy giant of replacing traditional ingredients like milk chocolate and peanut butter with low-cost substitutes. What do you think?

The post Grandson Of Reese’s Cup Inventor Blasts Hershey’s Recipe Change appeared first on The Onion.

LOS ANGELES—Responding to concerns that his upcoming Michael Jackson biopic would downplay accusations of sexual abuse involving the late singer, Michael director Antoine Fuqua revealed to reporters Wednesday that the film would fully confront allegations against actor Kevin Spacey. “Though it might make people uncomfortable, no movie about the King of Pop would be complete […]

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WAUKESHA, WI—Saying his approach to parenting was “hands-off” as far as imparting fundamental life lessons was concerned, local dad Derrick Pomeroy told reporters Wednesday that he was really counting on sports to instill all of the core values his two children would need in life. “I could probably find more opportunities to teach my kids about fairness and self-discipline, but with any luck, […]

The post Local Dad Really Banking On Sports To Instill Core Values In Children appeared first on The Onion.

Large swaths of western Mexico have been shut down after a surge in cartel violence sparked by the killing of one of the world’s most wanted drug kingpins, known as “El Mencho”, in a military raid, with foreign governments warning their citizens to stay inside. What do you think?

The post Mexican Cartel Leader Killing Unleashes Wave Of Violence appeared first on The Onion.