The post Sweetshop Labor appeared first on The Onion.

President Donald Trump has claimed that crime is “out of control” in the nation’s capital and beyond. The Onion assesses the veracity of the president’s claims.  Claim: D.C. has endured a record amount of robberies. Partially true: Some places in Georgetown sell a cup of coffee for $9. Claim: Chicago, New York, and Los Angeles […]

The post Fact-Checking Trump On Crime appeared first on The Onion.

The cherry tomato-sized meteorite that pierced the roof of a home near Atlanta has been confirmed to be about 4.56 billion years old, making it older than Earth itself. What do you think?

The post Meteorite That Crashed Into Georgia Home Older Than Planet Earth appeared first on The Onion.

The post Stephen Miller Tears Up As Son Says First 14 Words appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—In an ambitious new effort targeting undocumented immigrants, the Department of Homeland Security announced this week that it would begin offering a $1,000 stipend to migrants who voluntarily self-destruct. “If you are here illegally, the easiest, most cost-effective way to avoid arrest is by downloading the Customs and Border Patrol app, pressing the red button, and—after the the 10-second […]

The post DHS Offers $1,000 Stipend To Migrants Who Voluntarily Self-Destruct appeared first on The Onion.