Pete Hegseth Laid On Side For Cabinet Meeting

The Onion

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Dad Turns Up Skyrizi Commercial

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Unclear Where Girlfriend Keeps Making All These Friends

The Onion

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Critics Outraged By Flippant School Shooting Plotline In ‘The Super Mario Galaxy Movie’

The Onion

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Trump Warns Iran To Accept His Ultimatum Or Face Wrath Of Next Ultimatum

The Onion

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Social Media Users Sour On Democracy

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Pros And Cons Of U.S. Withdrawing From NATO

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Trump Paves Over White House Easter Egg Hunt

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Guess You Should’ve Made Your Coffee At Home

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340 Million Americans Killed In Botched Training Exercise

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Art Thief Leaves Behind Tacky Jeff Koons Piece

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Rich Parents Fill Easter Eggs With Gas

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Pam Bondi Fired As Attorney General

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Pam Bondi Brought In For Exit Lobotomy

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Bondi: ‘My Only Regret Is Not Being Able To Re-Traumatize More Victims’

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Pete Hegseth Replaces Top General With Horse That Drinks Beer 

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Iran Imposes New ‘Cash, Grass, Or Ass’ Fee For Strait Of Hormuz

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Blue Origin To Increase Space Tourism By Launching World’s Largest Ball Of Twine Into Orbit

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Pelicans-Kings Game Ends After Neither Team Able To Recover Tipoff

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Photo Of Unknown Child Graces Grandma’s Fridge

The Onion

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