Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Cam Skattebo Assured He’ll Only Be Missing Giants Games

The Onion

Prince Andrew Stripped Of Royal Computer Privileges

The Onion

Neighbors Always Knew Teen Gunman Was Evil And Did Nothing Because They Are Evil Too

The Onion

Scream Mask Left On While Using Toilet

The Onion

RFK Jr. Greets Trick-Or-Treaters With Big Bowl Of Ape Glands

The Onion

Cursed Videotape Kills Anyone Who Swallows It Whole

The Onion

24-Hour Horror Movie Marathon Attended With Other Failures

The Onion

Mike McDaniel Coaches Game Lying Facedown On Sideline

The Onion

Nvidia Becomes First $5 Trillion Company

The Onion

China Agrees To Purchase 11 U.S. Soybeans 

The Onion

Parents Ask Detained Nanny If She’s Still Free To Watch Kids Friday

The Onion

Chicago ICE Raids By The Numbers

The Onion

IT Guy Had Affinity For Cords At Young Age

The Onion

Cameroon Elects 92-Year-Old President

The Onion

Report: Guy Who Sings ‘Thriller’ Has Bunch Of Non-Halloween Music, Too

The Onion

Economists: Hope Your Heart Wasn’t Set On A House

The Onion

Gray-Lipped RFK Jr. Touts Body’s Natural Ability To Transmute Lead Into Gold

The Onion

Arch Manning Running Out Of Polite Ways To Decline Eli’s Mentorship

The Onion

Report: Half Of All Uncontacted People Could Be Wiped Out In Next Decade

The Onion

YouTube Comment Section Astounded To Learn Chicks Can Rock Too

The Onion