Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Blue Drew Barrymore Could’ve Sworn She Saw James Cameron On Schedule

The Onion

Student Who’s Been In 3 School Shootings Starting To Think This Might Be About Him

The Onion

Community Does Jack Shit To Make Christmas Better For Town’s Second-Poorest Family

The Onion

Trump Announces New ‘Dodger Dividend’ For Anyone Who Avoided Military Service

The Onion

Trump Assures Struggling Nation He Has Plenty Of Money

The Onion

Aldi CEO Chased Off From Whole Foods Dumpsters 

The Onion

Political Profile: Jack Schlossberg

The Onion

New Research Reveals Ancient Egyptians Received Significant Help From Parents While Building Pyramids

The Onion

Report Finds More Americans Using GoFundMe For Basic Necessities

The Onion

Joe Flacco’s Wife Dresses As Giant Football To Spice Things Up In Bedroom

The Onion

MS NOW Lures New Viewers With Rotating Gyro Spit In Corner Of Screen

The Onion

Coworker Returning From European Vacation Brings Back Latvian Man For Everyone To Share

The Onion

Travis Kelce Worried Patrick Mahomes’s ACL Tear Will Derail ‘Harlem Shake’ Groomsmen Entrance

The Onion

Campbell’s Unveils New Line Of Self-Defense Soups

The Onion

Downer and Blitzin’

The Onion

Congress Allocates $45 Million To Hang Fairy Lights Along U.S. Border

The Onion

Report: Electric Guitar Means This Likely Not Your Mother’s ‘Jingle Bells’

The Onion

Ragú Unveils Sensory Deprivation Marinara Tank

The Onion

Cackling Referee Declares Penalty For Pass Interference Shall Be 10,000 Years Of Winter

The Onion

FBI Designates Brown University Shooting A Cold Case

The Onion