Study Finds 93% Of Murders Solved By Consulting Victim’s Pet Parrot

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Why Are We Doing Dry January?

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How To Stick To Your New Year’s Resolutions

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Trump Appoints Self To Divine Muses

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George Clooney, 1,000 Paparazzi Granted French Citizenship

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Bloated Nation Struggling To Work Way Through Leftover Rijstevlaai

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To Cirrhosis With Love

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Disney Licenses Characters For Use On OpenAI Video Generator

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Health Speculations Swirl As Trump Seen With Damage Numbers Above Head

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Tech Billionaires Threaten To Flee California Over Proposed Vest Tax 

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Images Of National Parks Replaced With Trump’s Face On Annual Passes

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MTA Admits To Fabricating Large Parts Of Subway Map

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Bullshit Newborn Not Even Christ

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Usha Vance Forces Smile After Unwrapping Another Bible For Christmas

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Santa Tracker Shows Sleigh Stopped For 40 Minutes Outside Old Girlfriend’s House

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Felt Beard Taped To Child’s Face Hanging On For Dear Life With Entire Christmas Pageant To Go

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McConaissance Quietly Concludes

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Ho, Ho, Ho! I’m Regrowing My Foreskin!

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State Department Reinstates Times New Roman Font Over DEI Concerns

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Hockey Players Blast ‘Heated Rivalry’ For Unrealistic Depiction Of Anal Sex 

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