Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Athletes In Raucous Olympic Village Fuckfest Fake Having Bible Study As Curlers Enter Room

The Onion

Looksmaxxing: Myth Vs. Fact

The Onion

Horse Annoyed At All The Year Of The Horse Comments She Getting

The Onion

Kim Jong-Un Selects Teen Daughter As North Korea’s Next Leader

The Onion

Coworker Laid Off Solely For Performance-Related Reasons Warns AI Coming For Everyone

The Onion

God Wondering When Humans Will Realize Purpose Of Life Masturbating Continually

The Onion

Dog Must Make Split-Second Decision Whether To Kill Or Show Tummy To Visitor

The Onion

All Upcoming Films Canceled After Every Living Actor Called To ‘Avengers: Doomsday’ Set For Reshoots

The Onion

Gallup To End Presidential Approval Polling After Almost 90 Years

The Onion

Mike Tirico Keeps Asking Olympians What Happens To Old Drug-Test Urine

The Onion

Trump Asks When He Gets To Kill Olympians Who Lost

The Onion

Dad Pursuing Lottery Scratchers Full-Time Now

The Onion

Grandpa Remembered For Messing Up Stuff Grandma Just Cleaned

The Onion

RFK Jr.: ‘Time In Hot Cars Helps Babies To Sweat Out Toxins’

The Onion

Baby Fails To Change New Father In Any Way

The Onion

Tips For Observing Lent

The Onion

Bookseller Scrambles To Hide All The Classics After Seeing Emerald Fennell Approaching Door

The Onion

Finnish Ski Jumping Team Caught Tampering With Earth’s Gravitational Field

The Onion

FBI Announces They Have Located Savannah Guthrie

The Onion

Study Finds Ancient Romans Used Poop As Medicine

The Onion