Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

God Admits He No Longer Loves Humanity But Is Too Afraid To Leave

The Onion

NHL Launches $800 Marketing Campaign In Major Push To Attract New Fans

The Onion

Mexico To Deploy Robotic Police Dogs For 2026 FIFA World Cup

The Onion

RFK Jr. Claims Anti-Protein Extremists Left Head Of Lettuce On His Doorstep

The Onion

Olympians Showered With Mortadella Confetti During Milan Closing Ceremonies

The Onion

Potomac River Flooded With 240 Million Gallons Of Sewage

The Onion

Alysa Liu Uses Gold Medal To Gauge Ear

The Onion

Trump Suffers Setback Unrelated To Child Rape

The Onion

Aide Wearily Begins 5th Explanation Of Why Trump Can’t Pardon Prince Andrew

The Onion

Dad Urges Daughter To Show Off High School Spanish With Guy On Street Speaking Spanish 

The Onion

Lewis Hamilton Wondering If It Red Flag After Date Keeps Calling Ex ‘Crazy’

The Onion

Buffalo Wild Wings Allowed To Continue Using ‘Boneless’ Chicken On Menu

The Onion

Pros And Cons Of Drug Advertising

The Onion

Kobe Bryant Mural Includes Graffitied Footnote About Eagle, Colorado

The Onion

Universe Practically Stumbling Over Itself To Reward Man’s Decision To Stop Making Art

The Onion

RFK Jr. Claims Keto Diet Cures Schizophrenia

The Onion

Study Finds Intermittent Fasting No More Effective Than Conventional Eating Disorder

The Onion

Pepper-wrongi

The Onion

Nation’s Friends From College Announce They Need Someone To Lean On During Divorce

The Onion

Looksmaxxing: Myth Vs. Fact

The Onion