Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Agriculture Secretary Demands U.S. Farmers Invent 5 New Melons By Friday

The Onion

RFK Jr. Mandates All Americans Drink Mysterious Glowing Liquid

The Onion

Artist Profile: Alex Warren

The Onion

U.S. Becomes First Country To Recognize Mega-Israel

The Onion

Danish Zoo Asks For Donated Pets To Feed To Carnivores

The Onion

The Best In-Detentions

The Onion

Space For The Whole Family

The Onion

Biologists Observe Geese Eating Tool

The Onion

Meryl Streep Makes Breakfast In Jiminy Glick Suit

The Onion

Trump Rushed To Walter Reed To Watch Breast Exam

The Onion

Alan Dershowitz Sues Farmers Market Vendor For Refusing To Sell Him Child

The Onion

Tarantulas Overcome Southwest During Mating Season

The Onion

Couple Welcomes Baby Born From 31-Year-Old Embryo

The Onion

What To Know About The Tea App

The Onion

Restless Billionaire Regrets Having Infusion Of Child’s Blood After 4 P.M.

The Onion

Bachelorette Party Bankrupts 4 Of Bride’s Fave Girlies

The Onion

Panicking NBC Realizes They Left Cris Collinsworth In Broadcast Booth All Offseason

The Onion

RFK Jr. Recommends Eating Good Cancer To Kill The Bad Cancer

The Onion

New Death With Indignity Law Lets Terminally Ill Be Crushed By Falling Vending Machines

The Onion

Trump Readjusts Golf Tee In JD Vance’s Mouth

The Onion