MIAMI—In an effort to diversify its holdings in the highly competitive militarized surveillance space, data analytics firm Palantir announced Thursday that it had acquired the Pentagon for $800 billion. “After months of negotiating, I am thrilled to announce that the U.S. government has accepted our terms and agreed to sell us the Department of War,” said Palantir […]

The post Palantir Acquires Pentagon For $800 Billion appeared first on The Onion.