Sara Morse and Beth Lozano

The Onion

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Greek Custodian Used To Be Demigod Back In Home Country

The Onion

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Schtick-Starter

The Onion

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Trump Angrily Demands Jalen Brunson Put On Suit

The Onion

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Kylie Jenner Told Nachos Were Sent By Fat Joe

The Onion

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NYPD Attempts To Deter Terrorists At NBA Finals By Doubling Assassination Fees

The Onion

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Trump Claims He Never Promised A Livable Country

The Onion

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Smokey Bear Claims Views On Wildfires Have Evolved 

The Onion

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FDA Recalls 40,000 Gallons Of RFK Jr. Milk

The Onion

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Water-Inefficient Landscaping

The Onion

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Kane Parsons Attaches Backrooms.Mov To Film School Application

The Onion

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Cat Ownership Linked To Schizophrenia

The Onion

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Kissing Practiced On Wife

The Onion

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Tips For LGBTQ+ Travelers

The Onion

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Scientists Successfully Transplant Pig Foreskin Onto Circumcised Man

The Onion

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Mystery Men Emerge From NYC Manholes

The Onion

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Zeus Lands Cameo Role As Trojan Soldier In ‘The Odyssey’

The Onion

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Biggest Revelations From Jill Biden’s New Memoir

The Onion

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Man Plans To Climb Mount Kilimanjaro For 90th Birthday

The Onion

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What Are We Donating To Goodwill?

The Onion

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