BALTIMORE—Identifying a disturbing behavioral trend likely to have profound health consequences, a study published Wednesday by researchers at Johns Hopkins University found that ultra-processed foods made up over 50% of Americans’ thoughts. “We surveyed more than 20,000 participants across the country, and the data showed they primarily think about sausages, spicy chicken nuggets, and cream-filled […]

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LEAWOOD, KS—Lighting up as he outlined his vision for their special day, Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce reportedly asked fiancée Taylor Swift on Wednesday if their upcoming wedding could be shark themed. “Come on, babe, you love animals,” said Kelce, who gestured enthusiastically as he threw out ideas, including tables named after different […]

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CRYSTAL LAKE, IL—With a crowd gathering around the new kid as word of his charming antics quickly spread among his peers, witnesses confirmed Tuesday that local fourth grader Billy Donaldson had easily won over his new classmates by performing belly tricks. “Look, the new kid is making his belly really big like a balloon!” said Katie […]

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