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Mitch Nagler

The Onion

Both Siblings Quietly Pray They Get On Kiss Cam

The Onion

Human Arm Hanging Limply Out Of Food Delivery Robot

The Onion

Nation Admittedly Curious To Hear How Trump Pronounces ‘Strait Of Hormuz’

The Onion

Price Of Teeth Rises

The Onion

Trump On Fence About Attending Ayatollah’s Funeral

The Onion

Trump Wins $60 On Kalshi Betting He’ll Bomb Iran

The Onion

Trump Creates Makeshift Situation Room In Mar-A-Lago Sauna

The Onion

Data Centers By The Numbers

The Onion

NYPD Arrests Man For Hitting Officers With Snowball

The Onion

Anyone Else Have Those Weird Dreams Where Sobbing Future Generations Beg You To Change Course?

The Onion

Nation Forced To Eat 35 Million Canadians To Survive Harsh Winter

The Onion

15 Years Of Saving Just For Your Dad To Call It A Shack

The Onion

Trump Boys Try Trading In George Washington Portrait At GameStop

The Onion

Shaq Warns Young Players Not To Do Movie About Genie

The Onion

Dad’s Favorite Piece Of Media Still Commercial From 2005

The Onion

Epstein Files Reveal Deepak Chopra Still Lost On Little St. James

The Onion

Prosthetic Hand Recipient Slowly Relearning To Lick Barbecue Sauce Off Fingers

The Onion

Artist Profile: Jelly Roll

The Onion

No One At Combine Sure Who Told Prospects To Walk With Water Balloon Between Knees

The Onion