Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Rockies Pitcher Pledges To Give Up Home Run For Sick Child

The Onion

Evidence Suggests Easter Island Heads Were Gifts From Overbearing Mother-In-Law

The Onion

New Law Requires 15% Of Cocaine Received By Child Actors Be Set Aside For Future

The Onion

Marissa Green and Henry Right

The Onion

WNBA Agrees To End Disparity Between Men’s, Women’s Fines

The Onion

Texas Democrats Return To State

The Onion

White House Evaluates Smithsonian For Alignment With Trump

The Onion

Antonio D’Angelo

The Onion

Book Character Straight Up Says She Hopes To Be Played By Nicole Kidman In Miniseries

The Onion

Jason Momoa Praised For Historical Accuracy Of ‘Chief Of War’ Ass

The Onion

Scout Would Like To See Pitching Prospect Mutilate Elbow A Little More

The Onion

We Want You To Fuck Here

The Onion

The Onion Film Standard: Top Gun

The Onion

Sam Altman Places Gun To Head After New GPT Claims Dogs Are Crustaceans For 60th Time

The Onion

Trump, Zelensky Sit Across From Each Other In Awkward Silence At Georgetown Cupcake

The Onion

Study: Elephants Only Other Species Capable Of Leveraging Synergies In Brand Portfolio

The Onion

Anna Tsang and Matthew Valentine

The Onion

Heroin Overdose Serves As Wake-Up Call To Keep Doing Heroin But Smarter

The Onion

Coveted Broadway Stage Role Landed By Juilliard-Trained Curtains

The Onion

Trump Angry Not A Single Visiting European Leader Wearing Lederhosen, Tiny Hat

The Onion