Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Mavericks GM Trades Away All Of Team’s Basketballs

The Onion

Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles 

The Onion

Trump Body Double Struggling To Get Leg Edema Just Right

The Onion

Moment Of Silence Followed By Hot Dog Race

The Onion

Hulk Hogan’s Spasming Cadaver Body-Slams Mortician

The Onion

Trump Gives Russia 10-Day Deadline To End Ukraine

The Onion

Katy Perry, Orlando Bloom Awkwardly Pretend Not To See Each Other While Out Naked Paddleboarding

The Onion

Dunkin’ Announces They No Longer Have Heart To Charge People For Such Depressing Meals

The Onion

Tinder Update Classifies Female Age Input Over 35 As System Error

The Onion

Man Runs Fake Embassy While Posing As Ambassador

The Onion

Tips For Surviving A Rip Current

The Onion

Hulk Hogan Dead At 71

The Onion

FDA Drug Approval AI Generates Fake Studies

The Onion

Artist Profile: Tyler, The Creator

The Onion

No One In James Taylor Audience Has Functional Enough Knees To Give Standing Ovation

The Onion

Fantastic Four’s Pedro Pascal Recalls Working With Trainer To Stretch Limbs 50 Feet 

The Onion

Most Anticipated Celebrity Memoirs Of 2025

The Onion

John Alford

The Onion

Swimsuit Hygienic Liner Slapped Onto Beach Bathroom Stall

The Onion

Tesla Opens Diner

The Onion