Comes With The Mugs

The Onion

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Adam Lazarus and Hayden Ortega

The Onion

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Ayatollah Killed In U.S. Airstrike

The Onion

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• satire

Joe Mazzulla Reiterates Jayson Tatum Will Not Return Until He Passes The ‘Mazzulla Logic-Puzzle Meridian’

The Onion

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• satire

Both Siblings Quietly Pray They Get On Kiss Cam

The Onion

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• satire

Human Arm Hanging Limply Out Of Food Delivery Robot

The Onion

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• satire

I Am The God Of Your Children. I Am The Final Parent.

The Onion

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• satire

Nation Admittedly Curious To Hear How Trump Pronounces ‘Strait Of Hormuz’

The Onion

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• satire

Mitch Nagler

The Onion

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Price Of Teeth Rises

The Onion

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Trump On Fence About Attending Ayatollah’s Funeral

The Onion

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Trump Wins $60 On Kalshi Betting He’ll Bomb Iran

The Onion

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Trump Creates Makeshift Situation Room In Mar-A-Lago Sauna

The Onion

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• satire

Data Centers By The Numbers

The Onion

• satire
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NYPD Arrests Man For Hitting Officers With Snowball

The Onion

• satire
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Anyone Else Have Those Weird Dreams Where Sobbing Future Generations Beg You To Change Course?

The Onion

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Shaq Warns Young Players Not To Do Movie About Genie

The Onion

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• satire

15 Years Of Saving Just For Your Dad To Call It A Shack

The Onion

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• satire

Trump Boys Try Trading In George Washington Portrait At GameStop

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Nation Forced To Eat 35 Million Canadians To Survive Harsh Winter

The Onion

• satire
•   news