Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Chappell Roan Makes Amends By Kidnapping 11-Year-Old Fan

The Onion

Trump Demands Allies Do Their Fair Share To Fuck Up The World

The Onion

Chick-Fil-A Announces Two Halves Of Buns Must Be Married Before Becoming Sandwich 

The Onion

Political Profile: Markwayne Mullin

The Onion

Live Possum Found Hiding Among Gift Shop Plush Animal Toys

The Onion

FDA Withdraws Proposed Rule Barring Minors From Using Tanning Beds

The Onion

Trump Wakes From Beautiful Dream Kissing Underage Girl To Find Face Being Licked By St. Bernard

The Onion

Suspect Waits Patiently While Cop Sounds Out Miranda Rights

The Onion

Florida Hospital Sues To Evict Patient Discharged 5 Months Ago

The Onion

Lawmakers Buy Waterfall On Redfin

The Onion

ABC Cancels Mormonism

The Onion

American Baked Potato Association Study Finds It Best To Load ’Er Up

The Onion

Dirt-Covered Trump Boys Attempt To Siphon Gas From Ground

The Onion

Trump Threatens Airstrikes On U.S. Gas Stations

The Onion

Third Date Apparently Just Going To Be Watching ‘Amélie’ Without Any Hugs Or Kisses

The Onion

Youth Hockey Banquet Spent Convincing Heavyset Teammate To Eat Copious Amounts Of Butter Squares

The Onion

Tips For Saving On Gas

The Onion

Trump Adds Name To Kennedy Center Again

The Onion

Ryan Gosling Recalls Preparing For ‘Project Hail Mary’ By Consulting Katy Perry

The Onion

Trump Repeats False Claim That Iranians Produce Oil From Bodies Like Bees

The Onion