Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Geneva Open Introduces Ice Courts

GENEVA—Saying frost-covered courts heralded a new direction for the sport, officials from the Geneva Open defended Monday their decision to hold a tennis tournament on ice. “The state-of-the-art ice courts at the Tennis Club de Genève will allow for more strategic play as athletes try to avoid slipping and falling while serving, returning, or even just […]

The post Geneva Open Introduces Ice Courts appeared first on The Onion.

Scientists No Closer To Uncovering Where Friend Finds These Bozos

MADISON, WI—Warning that each new iteration of dummy seems to be more witless than the last, a team of scientists at the University of Wisconsin stated Monday that they were no closer to uncovering where their friend Lisa Pullman finds these bozos. “Despite years of extensive research, we still lack even a rudimentary understanding of […]

The post Scientists No Closer To Uncovering Where Friend Finds These Bozos appeared first on The Onion.

Closeted Pride Parade Takes Place In Garage

The post Closeted Pride Parade Takes Place In Garage appeared first on The Onion.

Driving Surges In Popularity Thanks To ‘F1’ Film

LOS ANGELES—Coinciding with a spike in interest in cars and moving fast, a trend report published Friday by Edmunds Research confirmed that driving was surging in popularity thanks to Apple’s new film F1. “F1 has really pushed driving into the forefront of culture, and now it’s having a moment,” said report co-author Jared Eash, who […]

The post Driving Surges In Popularity Thanks To ‘F1’ Film appeared first on The Onion.

Over 100 People Jabbed With Syringes At French Music Festival

Nearly 150 people were jabbed with syringes during a street music festival in France, with authorities having arrested at least 12 suspects. What do you think?

The post Over 100 People Jabbed With Syringes At French Music Festival appeared first on The Onion.