King Charles will retire the “royal train,” a private rail line established in 1840 to transport members of the royal family across Britain, in an attempt to modernize the monarchy and cut down on costs. What do you think?

The post Royal Train To Be Decommissioned appeared first on The Onion.

President Donald Trump’s budget megabill is in the House of Representatives after being narrowly passed by the Senate. Here are the key items in “The One Big Beautiful Bill Act.” Funding for something called “The Facility.” Smaller, phone booth–sized detention boxes on every American street corner. Coupon for “buy two get one free” 12-packs of […]

The post What’s In Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill appeared first on The Onion.

The post Killer Tune appeared first on The Onion.

The post Stephen Miller Informed Wife Will Be Working Late On Baby For Elon Again appeared first on The Onion.

CHICAGO—Emphasizing the constraints of God’s healing hands, a new study published Thursday in the Journal Of The American Medical Association found that the curative power of prayer was limited exclusively to genital warts. “Our data revealed that while people attempt to cure a host of medical conditions by praying, the only ailment it was shown […]

The post Study Finds Curative Power Of Prayer Limited To Genital Warts appeared first on The Onion.